A continuation.

Moving to a new city is challenging. Of course it helps to have family and friends who are there to make it easier, but going somewhere new with no real direction, no job and none of the familiarity of previous years can be terrifying. I wake up every day and put a smile on my face and a mask of confidence to face the world and say "no I am not afraid" but in reality, that mask is what is hiding me from the truth. Every night I get ready for bed and think about what I have accomplished that day: I have looked and applied for multiple jobs unsuccessfully, I have read up about current happenings in the world, I have found more love in my heart than I knew possible for a man who swept me off my feet and I have become even more afraid of the future. Each day I find more jobs that I think could be interesting and that I could like well enough... but I'm not sure if that's what I want to settle for. Yes, I would love to have a career type of job, but settling for something has never been more forte. Now I think maybe I should get a few jobs at local places as a waitress, receptionist, whatever I can find and save money to travel the world in about a year. I don't need to stay in extravagant hotels, eat at the fanciest restaurants and do the most outrageous things. I would be happy going with someone I love and trust, a backpack, camera and some change in my pocket. (I have a theory that this way, you will get the most genuine and real experiences in countries from the most intriguing people.) Plans change, people change and everything you expected can change in the drop of a hat. Moving has been the best thing I could have done for myself. I am starting to realize who I am, what I want and what I need. I can't live for other people anymore. As much as I love to see others happy, making myself happy has to come first. Those who are still here for me understand why I am doing this and those who do not agree... well I'm probably better off without them. I truly value the people who are supporting and helping me through this journey. While I am still figuring out what I want to do, I am finding myself, and I couldn't be more scared and excited at the same time.