The tough get going... Or so they say (whoever "they" is). We all make choices in life, whether they are big or small, they define who we are. You have the small daily choices and the big decisions that come rarely, but those big events that come to us every once in a while are the things that truly test who we are and what we can withstand. I feel like I have had to make a lot of big decisions recently that have tested me emotionally, spiritually and even physically in the not so literal sense. I moved my entire life to a new place that I have known for more than a couple weeks at a time. In that move I left huge parts of myself behind. I've never felt so alone. I left friends, family and the person I love all in the hope to make a better life for not only myself, but for that man as well. I'm trying to start things for myself so when he gets here, things will be easier and we won't be going through the same hardships simultaneously. Whether I made the right choice at that moment is still unknown and only time will tell if it is. For everything that I believe in and hope for I want nothing more than for this decision that I am constantly accepting and battling to be the right one. Life will throw us horrible things sometimes and how we choose to deal with them will separate the fighters from the people who choose the easy path that end up unhappy because they decided to give up on what could have been. I am a fighter. I will give my all. I will succeed.
Nothing I have had to deal with in my life so far has been this difficult but I know that because of this I will be a stronger and better person. I do believe that love conquers all. True love will fight and will survive. In all honesty I believe that what I have now will survive. There are feelings that are indescribable in the best way possible. I am working for us and to make this easier for him when he does finally get here also. It's hard to understand from the outside looking in, but from the inside looking out, there is nothing I would rather be doing because I know in my heart this is what I want. We make our own happiness and I need to remember that. I am doing now what will make me happiest later. Although there is sadness now, happiness will be the final result.
With a part-time job to make some money now and an interview coming up, things are finally starting to look up. I keep going through every day with my chin up and an optimistic outlook, because if we don't have faith in ourselves, what do we have faith in? Things will work out for me, for us, because whatever He has in store for me, I know it is what is meant to be. Even though now is hard, it is because He knows that I can handle the hard times and can make it through this. Keep fighting. Stay strong. Never give up.
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